Many of the reasons for choosing the current memory unit had to do with proximity to my father’s apartment, 2 floors below my mother’s room, as well as the choice of amenities available for them to enjoy together as a couple. Everything changed when my father died.
Comments closedMonth: May 2019
Mom was not getting regular haircuts anymore so her hair was long and greasy and stringy. I decided it was time for a haircut and good washing so I told her we were going for a haircut. She just screamed at me that she didn’t want a haircut. It never occurred to me that she wouldn’t want a haircut.
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Under the nursing home plan, my mother accesses Medicare benefits that help her live more comfortably. For example, she receives therapy to prevent and ease some of the leg and muscle contraction that restricts her sleep positioning. As appropriate, the nurse will assign other services and advocate for my mother’s comfort while she lives. This plan does not supply comfort measures for the dying but helps the living live better; it fills a different need than hospice.
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After my parents left home together in an ambulance, the course of diagnoses and events that unfolded for them directed me toward a single, obvious solution to their living arrangements. They clearly could not go home together. The key thing for me at that moment in time was that my parents were safe, fed well, clean and together.
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My father was declining my help. It was not my choice at that time to do nothing but also not my right to impose or interfere. I also did not want to alienate my father. So on I went waiting for things to fall apart. It was agonizing.
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