Every once in a while my mother reminds me that she is not just a late stage Alzheimer’s patient. She is an adult woman who still has the capacity to enjoy elements of living. One Friday night I saw a look of contentment on her face. Her expression conveyed a satisfaction that she was present and thoroughly enjoying the moment.
Comments closedMonth: April 2019
But I had weeks to embellish this fantasy that people cared about us, or at least about mom, and they were going to swoop in and garnish hugs on us. I received several more texts leading up to the visit. It seemed they understood that caregivers need emotional support and their visit would be just that.
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I believe that even though mom suffers from late stage Alzheimer’s, she can still subtly express herself with some truth and intention. She still communicates with me subtly but very clearly in non-verbal ways when she is present. The mother I’ve always known is still there, although blurry or distant or fragmented. Perhaps now she is living more from a place of her own truth than she ever has before.
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The best quality time is simple quality time. In the past, I wanted everything to be perfect. It seemed important to have the right music on the radio, serve the right food on the right dishes or take her to the right ice cream stand. I wanted mom to have fun with me. For some strange reason, I thought all these extraneous details made our time together better. Truthfully, nothing else matters if we can just look at each other and smile.
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